I don't mind anyone who does - of course - but I have a hard time not filtering any interest "in the occult" or the supernatural through this filter of longing for an ability to self-direct your life (in whatever way it pertains to the individual). In a dark room, blackness can be seen or the object can be more colourful. Sometimes I see branches of dead trees etc. Its black figures, like spiders and evil things (that I have phobias of) and they move around the space. In a bright room, a dark red can be seen, owing to a small amount of light penetrating the eyelids and taking on the color of the blood it has passed through. When I close my eyes I dont just see shapes. I no longer believe in any paranormal ability, but I have intimate understanding why one would. This can be seen when the eyes are closed and looking at the back of the eyelids. Now, as an adult, it's difficult to not see those interests as directly linked to feelings of being a young, very shy, socially awkward, gay-person, with a very limited ability to construct my own reality, as I wish it was. Part of this fueled my interest in the paranormal during my teen-years. What probably happened was a mix of us being very charitable when asking about what the target object was (usually a very simple object, like a chair, or a rolling-pin, that also happened to be in our close vicinity), a slight social pressure to conform to play, and a willingness to believe in the existance of something more than the immediate, which I still think is a very beautiful inclination. When I was a child I misconstrued the imagery I saw when closing my eyes - and pressing on my eyes - as proof of telepathy, in plays with other children. You see a mix of the inside of your eyelids (blood-vessels and thin skin), mixed with residual imagery borne from "eye fatigue" (spots of strong lights, that tend to linger after exposure, and that then smear into shapes of gold, red, purple, green and black).
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